Creativity

What is creativity? I'm avoiding writing a paper for school right now and I've been thinking a lot about what creativity is.

Sure there's the creativity of being the creator of a completely unique world where you control the lives of characters and expose them to adventures and experiences that only you could dream up. But beyond that I think that creativity can extend to our not so interesting and unique pieces of writing. Like papers. Sure there a moments when you think that these pieces are useless and boring and that you won't gain anything from them. But when you start seeing your paper as a unique creation, then things get interesting.

That's what I'm trying to convince myself of anyway.

-The Novice Novelist

costuming

It's interesting to think about my characters and the many different facests of their lives, personality, and a plethora of other things. So, it's not surprise that I've started thinking about "costuming." I know that what I'm writing is not a play, but sometimes it's interesting to try and figure out all the particulars (even if they don't always make it into the book). I tend to find that as a writer (and even a reader) that I see the plot in my head much like a movie. So it's only natural that I take the time to develop the costuming of my characters.

And I hope that you as a reader and writer will do the same!

Living Life

Here's another little tidbit for you...it's been haunting my mind since it arrived so I had better get it out before it nags me to death eh?

Adam stiffened and before I blinked, he had whipped around and was marching back towards me, his eyes blazing with fury. Towering above my slender frame, grasped my arms and knit his brows together, his lips pursed into a tight line.

"You think it's that simple, do you? That I just traipse through any time I please without any consequences?" His grip tightened a little, "Sure I can go wherever I want, but I never truly get to live Jenna. I never get to have a normal life!"

He released my arms and backed away suddenly, running a hand through is tousled hair, "I've never had the chance to just live one life with people I care about. It's never been easy for me."

My mood suddenly darkened, "It's never been easy for me either," I muttered.

Adam let out a cynical laugh, "Yes indeed it hasn't been easy for you. You have known your share of heartache and sorrow, but you have the chance to move on from that. You have the chance to live your life."

I was infuriated, "I am living my life!" I shouted in response, "I live it each and every day! And I have to tell you, it's not really all that wonderful. You have it great. No worries. You don't know what it's like."

Adam was back by my side, "I don't know what it's like?" He questioned sardonically, "I believe you are mistaken ma'am. I know perfectly what it's like. I, above all others, know what you're going through. I watch lives pass by. I watch people die, while I remain forever here. Forever doomed to this lonely insignificant existance." He stilled suddenly, his eyes glazing over, "It's no life." His gaze returned to me, "And neither is yours. You haven't moved on. You're just stuck in the same state you were left in all those years ago. You refuse to move on! Instead, you just watch as your life passes you by, ignoring the people around you. You're hardly qualified to say what life is all about."

A Dream...

I had an interesting dream last night and I think that I could either make it into a story of its own or turn it into a piece of the novel I'm working on.

The story of the dream followed a girl (me) who was orphaned and then adopted into this ancient English castle where people seemed to be stopped in time. However, this girl breaks the rules and ends up having ot evade the guard out to get her.

It was really quite a remarkable dream and I found it to be interesting and amazing. I hope that I can get everything written out for you to enjoy. The dream was so profoundly interesting that I found myself wishing I could see the end of it!

Maybe tonight then eh?

-The Novice Novelist...

A Confession...

I'm apologizing, first and foremost, for not updating when i said I would. But can I just offer a simple explaination as to why this did not happen?

You see these last few weeks have been tiring for me, both physically andmentally. I've felt at my wits end trying to figure everything out and to get through with all the things that I've needed to do. And these last few days in particular have really taken it out of me. I've had so many different emotions running through my head that it's been hard to focus and feel determined to get anything done.

A couple days ago I was sitting in one of my classes and I just kept thinking about how frustrated I was and how I felt as though I wasn't doing anything worth while. I felt as though all my hard work was falling by the wayside and I was simply stuck in the same place and would remain there forever. This thought upset me of course and I began to become discouraged. And as the hours ticked by the feeling began to overwhelm me  until I was completely in tears. It was a terrible feeling and great moment of weakness for me.

I figured that I was just being emotional and that a good night sleep would help calm me. Unfortunately it did not. In fact, I felt even more hopeless and useless than I had the previous day. This did not bode well for me. I began to wonder why I was even trying and why I even felt that I was important in the first place...talk about a stupid thing to do right? So long story short: another crummy day.

Today didn't start much better either, but as I was sitting in an English lecture I kept thinking about why I love writing and why I love my family and why I am here. And you know what? The answers were simple and they rang true: I love writing because it frees me. It makes me happy. It allows me to create something beautiful. I love my family because they are treasures. They bring me joy and fill my life with such sweet memories...I couldn't give them up for anything on this earth. And why am I here? Well I don't really know the answer to that just yet...but I know that I'm here for a reason. I'm not useless and I'm not a mistake. I was meant to be who I am. I was meant to be here...and I was meant to do something with my life.

What a difference those thoughts have made! My spirit has been brightened considerably and I am grateful for the reprieve from sadness and despair. I don't like feeling that way, but sometiimes the pressure builds and you find yourself falling apart.

So, I apologize for not having posted sooner...life was hectic...but I will be more diligent in getting things written for you. I hope that there's someone out there who reads my blog and enjoys what they find here.

Until next time then,

-The Novice Novelist.

Day 25...a little belated...

Well I've done it again. I fell asleep last night on the couch and subsequently did not post anything for my blog...yep I'm a failure...I apologize to all you lovely readers for my stupidity and my horrible attendance at writing in my blog and in my novel...le sigh...I apologize! So here's a posting for you. Granted it is a little late but it's here for you to enjoy...and I promise to post at least one more time today...though I will try to make it two. Here's hoping!

Alright, I know I promised that I would have a posting from my novel in this post for you. However I thought I'd talk about something that I learned in my English class this week. We were talking about some 18th century writers and  one that really struck me was title, "Rambler No. 4" by Johnson. In this, he talks about the duty that writers have in the creation of their writing of the novel. And it really struck me. Yes granted he was talking about how we need to not be so fanciful with dragons and unique things of that nature, but the majority of his writing was about how we need to, as writers, be aware of the morals that we need to portray.

This made me consider my own writing and ask a few questions: what is the moral I'm trying to portray within my work? Am I trying to display an inspiring and unique story?

Anyway that's what I've thought...

Day 24: I missed a Few!

So sorry to have missed two days! I have a good excuse though trust me! For one thing, I was out of town and when I was supposed to be writing in my blog I was driving back home. When I got home I promptly fell asleep on the couch. And I would have written yesterday had I not been feeling so crummy.

So here's day 24 for you:

As I've been writing in my various classes at school, I've noticed that the times I enjoy writing the most is when creativity is involved. I'm not a big fan of the structured responsive essays where you are limited in your ability to express yourself. Instead, I've come to find that I enjoy analytical essays a little more. That isn't to say that they are my favorite thing to write, but I do enjoy them a little more than the traditional responsive essay. With an analytical essay I am able to express myself (to some degree) and display my knowledge of a text that I've been reading (that is to say, I'm able to show a deeper meaning of the text).

Now this exercise of writing, while helpful in a structured writing environment, wouldn't naturally appeal to a creative writer. But, I've come to find that after each paper that I write, the structured writing I've exposed myself to enhances my writing abilities and allows me to be more in tune with my creative process, thus givingme the ability to glean the information that I need for my novel. Pretty cool eh?

So needless to say, writing analytical essays are my new form of exercises for my creative writing.

-The Novice Novelist

P.S. and just so you know, I'll hopefully be posting another small portion of a chapter tomorrow.

Day 21: Imperfect Writing

One thing I'm sure every writer has dealt with is that insatiable desire to have a perfect piece of writing. However, every writer also recognizes that their writing is inferior in many ways...right?
Well at least that's how I feel. Very often as I sit writing, I have the urge to go back and edit and then edit again and then bang my head on the computer desk because my writing just sounds so stupid and mediocre and just annoying. The problem with this, is that not only does it discourage me and hinder finishing any project, it also isn't a fair assessment of my writing abilities. I've come to find that most authors are their harshest critics. The writings we do produce may never seem to be "perfect" and appropriate to our standards. But the problem is that we don't look at what others may think. Our opinions are the ones that cause the problems.

So my challenge to all those of you who are eager writers: don't think that you don't have the ability to write. Ask someone to read your work and don't be afraid to understand criticism from others. And make sure you never give up on writing.

-The Novice Novelist

Day 20: Is it weird?

Is it weird that I already know how my novel is supposed to end even before I have the middle sections filled out? Is it weird that I know how my entire series is supposed to end and how many books there is supposed to be?

I've often wondered how other writers go about the creation of their own works? Do they know the ending before they start the beginnings? Do they have trouble connecting the dots in the middle in order to get to the ending they've envisioned, as I do?

Perhaps that's the joy in creating something? Knowing the ending and having the ability to pull the strings of the plot to suit your purposes. Isn't that exhilerating? I think so at least.

-The Novice Novelist

Day 19: Constructing a Cohesive Plot

Just a quick thought for you today: I've been working on getting a cohesive plot together. There are so many things that I want to include in my novel that it's hard to make sure they all fit together and that all the pieces are connected into a cohesive and interesting plot.

My plan for getting everything organized is to write down each thoughts that I want in my novel and then attempting to list them in the order that I want them to appear in my novel. After that the next step would be to flesh out these ideas and hopefully create connections between each piece in my novel. Then I expect to have a complete and cohesive novel that engages readers and is enjoyable.

Here's hopin'!

-The Novice Novelist

Day 18: Deeper Meaning

Lately, as I've been doing research and analysis papers for my English classes, I've wondered whether or not my novel has a deeper meaning. I've been studying Milton's works, especially "Paradise Lost," and I've noticed that there are so many deeper meanings that can be gleaned from reading his works. And I think that's the mark of a truly great writer: to have meaning beyond the simple plain textual reading. I wonder if I'm achieving that with my novel. Will people read my works and try to delve deeper into the story in order to understand some hidden meanings? Will I be a good enough writer to garner that type of attention?

I've wondered that...

Day 17: Getting Caught Up In the Story

I've come to find that I'm getting caught up in my story. That's what I love about reading and writing. Getting enraptured with the lives of the characters and the adventures in which they thrive gives me great enjoyment. I love watching how my characters have grown and developed as I've progressed through my story. I love seeing the dynamics in which they interact with one another and I love the comlexity each personality entails.

Something that I've noticed lately with my writing is that the story within my head is so unique and multi-faceted that it sometimes overwhelms me. Add to that the complex characters that I've created and you have a very thought provoking event.

And that's what writing is all about! Writing is so exciting and unique and I absolutely love it! So here's my advice as a novice novelist:

Get lost in the story! Get involved with your characters and lose yourself in your writing. That's when the best creativity will come about!

Good luck fellow writers!

-The Novice Novelist

Day 16: Memory

Here's another short thought for you:

For the first few days I was confined to my apartment. Not that I wanted to leave. I couldn't concentrate. I stared at my bedroom wall, losing all track of time. His face was what I saw.

A tear rolled down my cheek as the scene played over and over in  my head: The silent scream, the stillness, the eyes that would never open again.

I pulled my pillow forward and buried my face in it, resisting the urge to scream. Tears cascaded down my face.

'Why?' I thought pitifully.

Day 15: Damsel in Distress

Here's another rough thought for you. I've cut it up into two parts and I'll post to second half tomorrow. I hope you'll give me some feedback!

Enjoy:

I slowly opened my eyes. Sunlight was splashed across the cream colored walls. I took a deep breath and sat up. Adam was tucked into a chair in the corner, fast asleep. A small smile crept on my face at the sight. Poor guy must have been awake for days to actually be needing sleep.

I sat up slowly, wincing as my movement shot pain into my shoulder. Gazing around I noticed a pitcher of water on the table a few feet from the bed. Noticing the water made me hyper aware of the fact that my throat was dry, scratchy and in need a refreshing. Quietly slipping the blankets off of me, I scotted to the edge of the bed and set my feet upon the plush rug. Gingerly I pushed myself to a standing position, careful not to jar my shoulder.

My legs were unsteady and shaking. I didn't know how long I'd been asleep, but I was determined to get my ability to walk back in working order. I slowly made my way towards the table and grabbed one of the glasses. Raising the pitcher, I poured the cool clear liquid into my small cup and smiled in satisfaction. Replacing the pitcher I brought my glass to my lips and took a long, refreshing drink.

"I"m glad to see you're awake Jenna," Adam's voice startled me and I inhaled mid-drink. Water lodge into my lungs, causing painful gagging and coughing to erupt. My grip on the cup loosened and the glass shattered on the floor beside me.

Adam was on his feet instantly and rushing to my side. Giving a few hard smacks on my back, he managed to allow a large amount of air to make its way into my lungs. This helped to still the coughing a few degrees.

"I'm so sorry Jenna!" he admonished, guiding me back towards the bed, "I shouldn't have startled you! I'm so sorry."

"It's alright," I managed between coughs, "No harm, no foul." I sent him a half smile.

lowering back amongst the downy pillows, the coughing slowly ceased. Adam gave me another apologetic smile.

"You shouldn't be out of bed. You could have asked me to get you a drink you know." He chastised me lightly, a smile on his lips, "But you're not one eager to take on the role of 'Damsel in Distress' now are you?"

"Not on your life," I replied, my voice hoarse from the coughing...

Day 14: Bring Me To Life

Here's another thought into my novel that I thought I'd share with you...it's a very rough thought but I thought I'd share it with you:

The thought that I have had was that Jenna figures out about Adam's ability to travel though time and she starts to rant and freak out:

"You've got to be kidding me! This is absurd," I started pacing, "I-I can't believe that you...and I...that we travelled through time! It's jsut not possible-it's...I can't...we-"

"Jenna," Adam grabbed my shoulders, stopping my pacing, "you have to calm down. We'll talk about it later when we're out of the open. But right now we really need to get going." He tried to lead me away.

"No!" I shouted pulling away, "I don't want to wait. I want and explaination...or a reality check or something! This doesn't make sense! I can't do this...I can't rationalize this...it's just doesn't make any sense."

"Jenna please calm down. I can hear horses. Please," Adam was pleading lightly about me, "Please Jenna let's go."

"No. Not until I get my answers. Just tell me-"

Adam tightened his grip on me and crushed his lips against mine, effectively cutting off my rant. Wrapping his arms around my waist he pressed closer to me, his lips never leaving mine. My eyes slipped closed and I wrapped my arms around his neck.

But just as quickly as the kiss descended upon me, Adam quickly pulled away, a smug look on his face.

Do You Ever Feel...

Do you ever feel as though you aren't going to be successful? What is the measure of your success? How can you gauge how great of a person you are or how much you contribute to the world?

Today I've been thinking that...I don't feel as though I've had a great influence on anything...I feel as though my writing right now is rathe mediocre...I feel as though I'm not really contributing much to anyone's imagination other than my own...I also believe that I'm not really attractive today either...I feel chubby and silly looking...it can get depressing don't you think?

But, I believe that I have the ability to do something good. I will get back in shape and I will continue to write. I will move forward and try to be happy. Whether or not someone enjoys my writing, it won't stop me from writing...I just want to express my passion for writing.

Day 13: Another Posting!

Yay for posting right? I hope you are enjoying my diligence in posting on here! And I have another little piece of writing for you. I hope you enjoy it:

A loud crash sounded, startling me awake. I sat up blearily, my heart pounding.

'what on earth?' I thought tiredly. I stumbled from the bed and inched towards the door. Another loud crash had me instantly alert. Someone was in my apartment. I tensed and strained to hear a voice or any other movement. Quiet footsteps were in my kitchen.

With my heart hammering in my chest, I slowly crept from the bedroom. I hesitantly walked towards the front room, careful not to arouse suspicion that I was awake. I peeked around the corner and noted the lone shadow in my kitchen. All the lights were off and I couldn't make out an prominant features. I did, however, conclude that it was a man. He was too tall and well built to be anyone else.

An idea suddenly sparked in my head. My broom! I had left it in the living room by the door this afternoon when I had cleaned up the shards of my dropped plate. Adrenal kicked in and I stealthily surried towards the door and my weapon. Firmly holding the handle of the broom and inched towards the man in my kitchen. He was searching for something in my cupboards. I raised the broom above my head.

"Jenna?" The man turned. I panicked and swung with as much force as my frame could muster.

The man let out a low grunt and tried to step towards me. I shrieked and swung once, twice, three times more. The man groaned and stepped away from me. I inched forward swinging the broom wildy; panic and adrenaline coursed through me.

"Jenna stop!" the man shouted. I stopped in mid-swing, my broom suspended in the air. I recognized that voice.

"Adam?" I questioned hesitantly.

"Yeah," the shadow replied, groaning a little, "Thanks for the warm welcome darlin'"

"You idiot!" I admonished...

Day 12: Sock it to me!

Alright I finally kept my promise! Here's the entire little snippet that I've been working on. Now please understand that this isn't the best writing and the thought isn't as fleshed out as I'd like it to be. But, it's the bare bones of the idea and I hope you can enjoy the image that this little piece conjures up for you. Enjoy!

;


“Leave me alone!” I shouted, trying to pry his slimy hands from my wrist. His grip only tightened

“I’ll do as I please!” he whispered back fiercely, a malicious grin on his face. I repressed the urge to shudder.

“This is harassment! Let me go!” I tugged harder to get away from him.

Suddenly his lips were on mine, his slimy tongue trying to force its way into my mouth. His arms tightened around my, effectively pinning him to me. I tried to maneuver my head away.

“Let her go!” Adam’s furious voice bellowed.

Michael pulled his face away from mine but did not release his grip on me. “Ah Adam, glad you could join us! I was just showing Jenna here how a man can kiss.”

“I’m warning you, Michael, release her. This has gone far enough,” Adam retorted, venom dripping.

His momentary distraction gave me the opportunity to pull out of his arms and step away from him.

“How dare you!” I seethed, anger boiling over. Adam was by my side immediately.

“Let’s just get out of here Jenna,” He murmured in to my ear, his voice soothing the heated indignation that I felt. I turned towards his voice as he guided me further from Michael’s presence.

“Now just a minute!” Michael boomed, seizing my arm and yanking me from Adam’s gentle grasp, “We weren’t done yet. You’ll just have to wait your turn!”

The anger returned full force to me and before I could register what I had done, my fist connected with Michael’s nose. Pain immediately erupted within my hand and I let out a small yelp of pain. It was, however, nothing compared to the choking noise that gurgled from Michael’s lips as he retracted himself from me and clasped his hands over his face, squeezing his eyes shut. I heard Adam’s deep chuckle and he swiftly returned to my side, cradling my swelling hand within his own. He hastily led me from Michael’s moaning form and towards his car.

“That should teach him, eh?” He remarked cheerfully as he unlocked his car and helped me into the passenger’s seat. Walking quickly around the car, he ducked into the driver’s seat and turned to me, grinning like a fool. Without a word, he started the car and pulled easily from the restaurant. I could see Michael’s crouching form from the mirror.

“Feel better Jenna?” Adam asked after a few moments of silence.

I turned towards him, careful not to jar my swollen fingers. A smile slowly crept on my face at the thought of my actions a few moments ago.

“Yeah, I do actually,” I remarked after a moment, “But…” I trailed off.

“But what?” Adam inquired, giving me a quizzical look.

“Well it’s just that…I guess it’s safe to say that I just handed him my resignation right?”

Adams laughter filled the car, “That was a terrible joke Jenna…a true statement, but a terrible joke.”

I only smiled.

Day 11: A Snippet!

As promised, here is a snippet for your enjoyment!

“Leave me alone!” I shouted, trying to pry his slimy hands from my wrist. His grip only tightened



“I’ll do as I please!” he whispered back fiercely, a malicious grin on his face. I repressed the urge to shudder.


“This is harassment! Let me go!” I tugged harder to get away from him.


Suddenly his lips were on mine, his slimy tongue trying to force its way into my mouth. His arms tightened around my, effectively pinning him to me. I tried to maneuver my head away.


“Let her go!” Adam’s furious voice bellowed.


Michael pulled his face away from mine but did not release his grip on me. “Ah Adam, glad you could join us! I was just showing Jenna here how a man can kiss.”


“I’m warning you, Michael, release her. This has gone far enough,” Adam retorted, venom dripping.

 
Are you interested to find out what happens next? Well you'll have to come back tomorrow to find out! Any speculation on what YOU think will happen here? Opinions are welcome!
 
-The Novice Novelist

Day 10: The Character Visual

I'm working on that snippet still but will get it to you soon. In the meantime I thought I'd talk about creating a character.

For me, the creation of a character comes in a very forceful way. I don't see these characters as figments of my imagination. Rather they seem to real and intense that it's easy to create a relationship with them. Essentially they become friends to me (and just for the record I'm not crazy).

I've noticed that whenever I write in a story, the characters and setting always appear in my head. I can see everything as though it were a movie, the characters included. Everything is so crisply detailed in my head that it isn't hard to describe these characters to others.

So for your viewing pleasure, I give you an idea of what the characters of Adam and Jenna look like...at least in my head:





Sigh...don't they look great together? Yeah I thought so too! Also, here's another little treat for you: I have a picture of a dress that Jenna actually ends up wearing whenever she travels back in time with Adam. Imagine this dress in a deep blue color and you get the image that I had in my head:

Day 9: Imagination and Being a Writer

I figure that before I make the same mistake that I did yesterday, I should write now before I get far too drowsy to do so. Besides, this is a good way to procrastinate eh? I much prefer talking about my novel than thinking about my essay that's due tomorrow...sigh...anyway I digress...

Today I thought I'd talk about what I think it takes to become a writer...and to sum it up in one word what I think it takes to be a writer is: imagination. In order to become a writer you don't need a fancy degree or a vast array of knowledge of words. All you really need in order to be a great writer is an imagination. You can't be a writer if you can't imagine a world outside of the reality that you live in. How can you expect to be an effective writer if you are not able to think outside of the box? The simple answer to that is you can't. You can never be a writer if you suppress your imagination. Rather, you need to let your thoughts flow and your heart open to the ideas that float around in your head. Why stop such an amazing process? Imagination is the key to creativity. Without it your world is bland and stale.

But let me just say, that beyond having an imagination, you must continually cultivate that imagination. Never be afraid to express yourself and let your creativity flow. Never allow negative critics to tell you that you'll never have hope to become anything. Prove them wrong by simply writing. Do what you love. Give no thought to the possibility of being a published writer. Becoming published is not a mark of your talent. If you truly love to write, it will not matter whether or not you become rich and famous, you will simply write for the joy of it.

At least that's what I have to say on the subject...later I hope to have a snippet available to view...and yes I know I promised that I would post something the other day...can I claim a headache on that one? Yes? No? oh well....

Sincerely,

The Novice Novelist

Day 8: Blogger Fail...

Like it or not, I have, unfortunately, missed a day in my blogging...but here's the excuse...I had every intention of writing in my blogs last night, but then at 2:30 I woke up startled...apparently I had fallen asleep on the couch and my husband neglected to wake me up! So not only did I not get all of my homework done, but I forgot to blog...alas I have failed...I can offer no other reasoning behind missing a post, but I promise to be more diligent in writing...I'll be posting again later tonight (barring any unforseen sleep attacks that is...) So until then...

Day 7: Developing the Plot...

Well it's official! We've made it one whole week into this 365 writing challenge! I don't want to brag, but I think this is a great thing and I feel as though I've accomplished quite a bit so far...even if it only has been a week...we still have so many more weeks to go! And I feel pumped.

I know that things won't always be easy and I'll be tempted to abandon this little attempt at improving my writing, but I know that in the end this challenge will be well worth it.

Now onto my little thought for the day. I've been thinking a lot about the complications that can arise from writing a novel. There are so many different facets you need to consider when you attempt to write something that a reader could relate to. One part in particular that I'm trying to focus on right now is the plot of my novel. It's interesting to note that I know how my story begins, what happens in the middle, and most importantly, how this piece of work ends. The thing that I struggle with is connecting the dots between those points however. And I constantly have that stupid editor in my head telling me to go back and rework pieces that I've already written because they sound stupid. However, I need to just sit and and connect those dots and then go back and rework the completed novel! Let's hope that all goes well.

I'm hoping to post again tonight with a little piece of my writing. Once things calm down around here that is! I hope that whoever is reading this will be excited by this little revelation...is there anyone out there? :)

Sincerely,

The Novice Novelist

Day 6: I've Found an Amazing Song!

A few posts ago I mentioned how music really helps to increase my inspiration and today I was struck, quite forcefully, with a piece of music that fit perfectly with the ending of my novel! It was amazing to have such a perfectly fitting piece of music fall into my lap (or ring in m ears is a better term).

There piece of music was "I'll Follow You Into the Dark" by Death Cab For Cutie. It is amazingly consistent with the feelings that my ending entails. I highy suggest listening to this piece of music!

Day 5: A piece of writing for you...

Well we're to day five...five whole days of blogging...doesn't sound all that great of an accomplishment does it? Oh well.

Today, my mind has been constantly on my book. And luckily for me, I was actually able to write something! There was certain song on the radio that kept forcing images into my head and so I sat down and wrote a few little pieces for you...whoever is out there reading this thing...anyway I hope you enjoy!

*snippet


I stared at Adam in disbelief. Was he serious? This had to be a joke. Yet nothing in his demeanor betrayed his words. He gazed at me questioningly, a hint of fear in his eyes. He could see my confusion and wavering resolve and knew that I was close to falling apart.

“You’re serious?” I questioned quietly. Adam only nodded. “But- but how are we…?” I couldn’t finish the sentence. This was just absurd.

“Listen Jenna,” Adam began hesitantly, “I know this is a lot to handle right now, but I need you to trust me alright?” He took a step towards me. Out of instinct I backed up a step.

“I-I just don’t know if I can do that. This is completely crazy! Things like this don’t happen. We aren’t in a different time. I’m just having a break down…” I was rambling now, panic was swelling in my chest and I felt my heart beat faster and faster. The world seemed too surreal.

“Jenna listen to me,” Adam’s voice had taken a tone of authority, “you have to calm down. This is really happening and you need to calm down alright?” He grasped my shoulders and shook me gently, gazing into my eyes, “No panicking right now. Let’s get somewhere safe and then you can have a meltdown.”

I tried to speak, but my throat refused to comply. I resorted to nodding, pushing the unpleasant thoughts from my mind for now. Satisfied with my compliance, Adam released my shoulders and grasped my hand, leading me into the undergrowth, further from the path.



*Snippet

Anger welled inside of me and before I could register my actions, my fist connected with a sickening crack against Adam’s cheek. The intense, throbbing pain only fueled my anger further.

“You lied to me!” I seethed, “You no good filthy liar! You lied to me! You said that you didn’t know who I was! You-you let me believe that you didn’t know my family, and then I come to find out that you knew my father!”

The pain of the revelation sent shockwaves through my body. Grief erupted, uninhibited by my usual barrier. I was nearly knocked from my feet as memories began flashing through my mind. My father smiling at me; my mother showing me how to paint the living room walls; and here I was without them. I felt my eyes begin to overflow with hot, salty tears and I did nothing to stop them. I was too angry and saddened. Life was just too complicated

“Please Jenna,” Adam whispered. He sounded genuinely upset, “I never meant to hurt you. I made a promise to your father that I’d look after you. Your father died for a noble cause” My head shot up and sent him a glare.

“You were there?” I whispered dangerously low, anger dripping from my words.

Adam didn’t answer, but the look on his face told me enough of the truth.

“Why didn’t you try to stop it? Why didn’t you try to save them?” my voice was raising in pitch and I slowly inched towards Adam’s frame. He remained stoic, but wary.

“I’m sorry Jenna. There’s nothing I could have done to prevent things. It had to happen.”

“No it didn’t!” I shouted leaping towards him. I began beating on his chest, tears blurring my vision. Adam didn’t try to stop me, “It didn’t have to happen! You could have stopped them! You could have saved my parents. They didn’t have to die…”

My voice cracked as a sob escaped my lips. Adam wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close to him. I stopped fighting, sob wracking my body.

Day 4: Struggling to Find Meaning...

Today has been hectic for the family. I had to take my husband to the emergency room and everything has just been thrown out of whack! But fortunately everything is running smoothly and my husband is home safe and sound (for the most part anyway).

And though today has been rather off kilter with how things normally go, the change in pace has given me time to ruminate on certain aspects of my book, namely, the main characters: Jenna and Adam. I don't think I've ever really sat down and discussed these two characters in depth before and maybe now is a good time to do so.

First I'll start with Adam. Now, I won't go into complete detail about who Adam is and what he's capable of because, well, that would ruin the aspect of writing a novel. Why would you want to read something you already know about right? Anyway, Adam, is an extremely difficult character. Obviously he's extremely good looking, though not obsessively so. Blonde hair and green eyes and a very strongly defined and angular face. He's strong willed and stubborn and has the propensity to get under your skin with his annoying behavior. And more than that, he can be very guarded and suspicious of another person's intentions and it takes awhile for him to completely open up to you. But once he does open up to you and learns to understand you, he's fiercely loyal and would do all that he could to help you. Sounds ideal right? Not so much. This loyalty can lead to some very difficult situations and his stubborness has a tendency to infuriate his friends. But through it all, the goodness in his heart can overcome most misunderstandings....I think...

And now onto Jenna. Jenna was a difficult character for me to write. She's so very difficult and complex that I realize new things about her character every time I sit down to write her life. I feel a deeply emotional connection to her, though I haven't experienced anything like she has. Her life is marked by sadness and because of this sadness Jenna tends to isolate herself from the outside world. Being fearful of making connections, she refuses almost every opportunity to deepen connections and friendships. She's deeply connected to her past and refuses to move on from it, thus nearly incapacitating her to the point where she needs to supress memories in order to function. She is a deeply devoted to her schooling and her job...they are nearly her entire life. And it alienates her from other people...and when Adam comes into her life, her entire method of thought and her schedule is thrown upside down. She must come face to face with her demons and learn that in order to move forward, you have to accept the past.

Is that vague enough and still understandable? I want so much for you to understand my characters and connections to them. A reader deserves the ability to enjoy a story because they feel something for the characters and enjoy reading about their lives the experiences they have. Does everything make sense? Would you read this..whoever you are?