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Friday, August 19, 2011

Another finished!

Yes! You read that title correctly. I have finished another chapter! Yay go me! I was really excited to finish this chapter it was a long process and I sat down and wrote A LOT in order to finish the chapter.

Initially I was hesitant to finish the chapter because I was unsure as to whether or not my writing was actually decent. But, after reading what I already had written, I've come to realize that I'm not a completely terrible writer. There's hope for me yet! At least that's waht I'd like to think.

So, here's a snippet for you from the completed chapter. I hope you enjoy. And....if you'd like to leave a comment feel free!

“Yes well,” I fiddled with the pen in apron pocket, “I fail to see when it became your job to be concerned with me.”



Quickly, I turned on my heel and started to walk away. Even though things were starting to die down a little, I still had several table to attend to.


“You aren’t staying.” Adam remarked to my turned figure.


I stopped and clenched my fists and an attempt to prevent a groan of frustration from seeping out. Turning slowly, I narrowed my eyes and walked quickly back towards his table.


“Listen, I don’t know who you think you are, but you certainly aren’t a friend of mine. Moreover, you aren’t my father so back off.” I had had enough of these stupid games and with his annoying behavior throwing my life completely upside down. I was sick of it, “I’m finished being so accommodating to your completely idiotic and frustrating behavior. Leave me alone.”


Adam leaned forward, his eyes, blazing slightly, “No Jenna. I won’t leave you alone. I can’t.” He was speaking in a deathly calm whisper and for a moment I wondered what he was really thinking. His cerulean eyes swam with so many conflicting emotions. “Despite what you think, you need a friend. I’m here for you. I am going to be your friend.”


“I don’t want you to be my friend,” I tried to emphasize my emotions, “I want you to leave me alone.”


“Well,” the smirk was back on his face, “I don’t think you have a choice in that matter.”


I clamped my mouth shut, and turned on my heel once more, leaving Adam alone at the table. I made my way back to the kitchen, painfully aware of the looks of adoration and envy I was receiving from my fellow workers. It was ridiculous.


I hastily made my way back into the kitchen, my face flushed from anger and embarrassment. Rachael took one look at my expression and suppressed a giggle. The wheels were turning in her head and she could correctly infer (or at least that’s what I assumed) who had caused such a hue to appear on my cheeks.


“Not one word,” I muttered darkly, grabbing the waiting plates for a few of my other tables.


Rachael smiled, placating my wounded pride, “I wasn’t going to say a word,” she vowed, her eyes dancing, “You’ve had enough for one evening I think.”


I rolled my eyes in response and hurried out the door, the orders balances carefully on my tray.


Of course luck didn’t seem to be on my side. I nearly tripped coming out of the kitchen and I heard the distinct snigger from Adam’s direction, as he more than likely observed my imbalance. My dour mood soured even further and I’m certain that I sent several of my customers withering glares, though not intentionally. I tried to be pleasant enough, but the façade was thin.


By the time I had made my second round to the kitchen and back out to serve more customers, my scowl had softened somewhat. Unfortunately, it hadn’t softened enough to keep Michael’s scrutinizing gaze out of my direction. I could feel his slimy eyes following my movements as I went between two tables, placing plates of steaming food before my customers and picking up empty cups to refill. I could feel my heart hammering slightly in my chest as I tried to compose my features. I didn’t want to give anyone a reason to fire me. I could afford it. Literally.


Unsurprisingly, as well, Adam sat at his small table, observing me work, a small smile on his face. Though, he seemed to be rather deep in thought. I watched his gaze travel a few times between me, the kitchen, and Michael’s skulking form, thoughts slowly processing beneath his cerulean orbs. He was planning something. My eyes narrowed at him. I wouldn’t allow his behavior to influence me any longer.


I went back into the kitchen a third time, dropping off plates. Rachael eyed me, a funny expression on her face. Without a word, she handed me Adam’s dessert, the last order for my tables, and then quickly turned from me.


Surprisingly, he didn’t say a word to me as I handed him his dish. He smiled gently, tipped his fork in my direction and then dug in. I gave him an inquisitive look but didn’t venture to converse with him. It was better to not push my luck. Giving a slight nod of my head, I turned to leave his table again and head back into the kitchen.


“I’ll take you home in a few minutes Jenna,” Adam murmured quietly from behind me.


I stopped short, and spun quickly on my heel and faced Adam, who was smirking, eyes twinkling. I sent him a deathly glare, but didn’t dare go closer. I didn’t want to cause more of a commotion. I could feel Michael’s gaze washing over me, making my skin crawl. He was looking for any excuse to reprimand me. Adam studied my face for a moment and then shifted his gaze to the corner where I knew Michael had to be sitting. His eyes darkened and his smile shifted into a hard line. He quickly averted his gaze and continued eating his dessert.


I all but ran to the kitchen.


By the time I got there, my shift was nearly over. I had managed to finish up all my other tables, except for Adam’s. But I didn’t venture out for a few minutes. I wanted minimal contact with him. Gratefully, when I did return, Adam was gone, but thirty dollars sat perched delicately in the center of the table with a small note:


See you Soon.


I rolled my eyes and crumpled the paper in my hand, but blushed slightly at the large tip that Adam had left me. I could only imagine the smug look on his face as he placed the bills on the table and snuck away. Tending Adam’s bill, I pocketed the change, making a mental not to return the excess money to him if I saw him again (though I had the distinct impression that I’d be seeing him soon). Thankfully, after that I made swift work of the table and then finished attending my other customers. All in all I made short work of the rest of my shift, thankfully.


Michael’s piercing, slimy gaze followed me continually, though he made no comments on my previously erratic behavior. I didn’t dare focus on his face. Best not to give him a reason to acknowledge me further, or get the wrong impression. I didn’t need that type of trouble right now.


Thankfully, the restaurant closed down for the night. And as I watched my fellow workers chatter away as they prepared for the rest of their night, I let out a tired sigh. I still had at least two more hours of work to accomplish before I could trudge home.


Quietly, I walked to the employee bathroom and closed the door with a soft click behind me. No one would be coming in here now. I had a small break. With a heavy sigh I sank slowly to my knees in from of the door, my palms resting on the cold floor. I closed my eyes and tried to measure my breathing, and calm my nervous heart. My emotions had been strained to extreme measures over the last few days and I needed to compose myself.


I rose slowly and moved towards the sink, turning the water on. I splashed cold water on my face to wake me up and invigorate my senses long enough to get me through the next few hours. I just needed to make it a little longer.


I glanced at my reflection in the mirror and cringed slightly. I had dark circles beneath my hazel orbs and my hair was coming out of the bun I had used to control it. Hastily I fixed the straying tendrils of auburn locks and moved again towards the door. Best not to look in the mirror again.


When I exited the bathroom, most of the workers were gone. The rest, were conversing near the door. Some noticed me exit the restroom and gave me curious glances. Andrea noticed me as well, but didn’t venture to greet me. Instead she sent me a bright smile and a wink. She must have realized I’d had more excitement than I was used. She did hold her hand to her ear and mouthed the words “call me.” I nodded in agreement but shrugged my shoulders to indicate that I didn’t know what I would. She nodded in understanding and then quickly turned back to her group as they exited the restaurant.


Sighing, I walked into the kitchen where bus boys and the kitchen staff were hastily scraping excess food off of plates, dumping trays, and cleaning pans. Rachael saw me and gave mea confused look.


“What are you still doing here honey? Shouldn’t you be heading home?” He gave me a concerned look.


“Michael,” was all I replied as I walked closer.


Rachael’s face darkened and she glared at the counter for a minute, “That coward,” she muttered darkly. She suddenly slammed her knife down and marched towards me. “Come with me Jenna.”


My eyes widened in shock. She had caught me completely off guard. So much so that I didn’t really know how to respond. I stood there dumbly for a moment, merely gazing at her in confusion.


With a sigh, she gently grasped my wrist and tugged me along with her out of the kitchen. She walked with determination through the dining room and headed towards Michael’s office, where he sat, his face buried in books, unaware of our advancement.


Realization dawned on me and I tried to pull my wrist from her grasp, “No Rachael, please. You don’t need to do this. It’s fine. I promise.”


Rachael stopped, mid-stride and turned to face me, “You’re kidding right? Jenna look at yourself! You’re running yourself ragged as it is. You shouldn’t have even come into work today. You look dead on your feet! You’re pale and I know you haven’t slept. I should have made that boy take you home the minute you walked in here this afternoon. And Michael,” She hissed as she said his name, “Is absurd to think that he can force you to take on more work as a ‘punishment’ for getting hurt. It’s ridiculous and I have half a mind to report him.”


“I’m fine Rachael really,” I pled hastily, “I don’t want to cause trouble.”


With a sigh Rachael released my hand, “Fine, you won’t cause trouble I promise.” A small smile appeared on her face, “But I will.” Hastily, she moved from me and marched in Michael’s office.


I stood there, horrified, humbled, and a bit confused.


“Michael!” Rachael’s voice could be heard through the glass door. My eyes widened slightly and I stood rooted to the spot, “This is ridiculous.”


Michael rose slowly from his desk to face her, his frame a mere two inches taller than here. Clearly height wouldn’t intimidate her, “What are you talking about?” he drawled slightly raising his eyebrow, his gaze flicked to me for a moment and quickly returned to Rachael’s furious one.


“You know damned well why I’m here,” she responded, growling slightly, “Why is she still here!”


Michael huffed, clearly annoyed, “I don’t see why it’s any of your concern Rachael,” he shot me a glare, “And, if you value your job I suggest you keep your nose out of other people’s business.”


Rachael only laughed at his threat, “Really? You’re going to threaten me with losing my job? I’m not afraid of you Michael, like you’ve got so many other of the workers here to be. You know as well as I do that if you fire me, you’ll lose your customers. You’d be nothing without me. And her,” she pointed to me, “She’s the best waitress you have. You’d be a fool to even threaten to fire her. She’s also one of the most valuable assets that you have at this establishment. You’d lose more than you realize.”


I watched with surprise as Michael’s face turned two shades redder than his original color. His brown eyes darkened and he sent me the most withering glare that he could.


“She missed yesterday, she needs to make it up. End of discussion.”


Rachael slammed her fist on the desk, “No. She needs to go home. She shouldn’t have been here today. You’re a fool Michael. I’m sending her home. I don’t need her in the kitchen anyway.”


“You can’t do that!” Michael was livid now, “You aren’t the manager at this establishment. I am.”


“Yes, but I’m the head of the kitchen staff and I am entitled to send those home who I don’t need and tonight I don’t need her. She’s going home.”


Michael didn’t say a word but narrowed his eyes in my direction as Rachael turned on her heel and walked back towards me, a look of victory on her face.


“You heard it sweetie,” Rachael remarked as she came to me, “Off to home you go.”


She grabbed my arm and walked me towards the restroom where my school bag was and gently nudged me, “Get home safely dear. I’ll be seeing you tomorrow.”


“I-I thank you,” I replied, quietly, touched by her determination to make sure I was taken care of.


Rachael stopped and looked at my face, a gentle motherly smile gracing her features. I felt a momentary stab of pain wash over me, but forced the feelings down. “You listen to me sweetie. You need to stop running so fast. Don’t keep pushing yourself so hard. Let others lighten the load. And for heaven’s sake gets some rest. You’re as white as a ghost. It’s not healthy to keep doing this.”


She searched my face, her brows furrowed in concern. “Promise me you’ll get some rest. Please.”


“I promise.” I whispered in reply, touched by her concern.


“Good. Now off you go. I’ve got work to attend to.” Giving my arm a gently squeeze, she released her grasp and turned towards the kitchen, her steps determined and precise.


I walked numbly into the bathroom and retrieved my belongings, donning my wool jacket and gloves. Silently, I exited and avoided gazing towards Michael’s office afraid of what I might see if I did. I was certain that he was fuming about the recent emasculating scene. I knew that he’d pay me back in kind for this though. I’d have to be on my guard.


I walked towards the front entrance and pushed the door open, the frigid wind biting at my warm cheeks. My body started to shake at the sudden drop in temperature and tightened the grip on my backpack straps, walking into the cold night.


I wasn’t half a block away from the restaurant when I heard someone shouting my name.


“Jenna! Jenna!” I stopped short, straining to distinguish who’s voice it was. “Jenna!”


I turned and my eyes widened in surprise as I saw Adam sprinting towards me.


“What on earth-“ I began. Adam quickly cut me off.


“Come on, let’s get you home. Rachael doesn’t want you walking in this weather,” Adam remarked, grabbing my arm, “My car is nice and warm.”


“How did you know when I would be getting off work?” I questioned, quite curious.


“Well, I couldn’t let you stay there any longer now could I? I said that I’d be taking you home, and I’m not one to break my promises,” Adam stated, rather proudly as he grabbed hold of my backpack, trying to remove it from my shoulders.


I tightened the grip on the straps, “Now hold on. You aren’t making any sense,” I stated, “and besides I didn’t want a ride from you. I thought I told you that earlier.”


Adam waved his hand in dismissal, “Oh yes you did. But, I really didn’t pay too much attention that. You don’t seem to value your wellbeing too much. Sometimes others need to make the decisions for you.”


I felt annoyance being to rear it’s head and I sent him an irritated glare, “And what gives you the right to dictate what is best for me?” I questioned bitingly, “You’ve known me for about twenty four hours. You don’t have a right to make any decisions for me.”


“Ah but you see, Rachael felt the same way. I’m merely under orders from her. And,” Adam smirked again, “since you’ve known her for quite some time, we shall have to listen to her wise council.”


Realization dawned on me, “You talked to her! You were the one who convinced her that I needed rest. She didn’t know I was supposed to work in the kitchen. How-“


“I didn’t need to tell her what Michael had planned for you. I merely suggested that I was concerned for your health. You hit your head pretty hard. You shouldn’t have been there today,” Adam remarked calmly. I felt my blood boil.


“She could have lost her job! I could lose my own. This isn’t some twisted game! It’s my life your screwing around with. I can’t afford to take that risk Adam. And I couldn’t live with myself if Rachael lost her job.”


Adam snorted, “Michael’s a coward. I’ve seen his kind before,” he chuckled at his own comment, “He doesn’t have the guts to fire her. He’d be a fool to try. And you,” He sent me a pointed look, “You work far too hard. He’s taking advantage of you. Someone needed to stand up to him. I’m glad that she did it.”


And then with a firm yank, he loosed my hold on my backpack straps and managed to remove the bag from my shoulders. I stumbled a little at the sudden movement, slipping on the ice. My cheeks ignited in humiliation and annoyance and I sent him another glare.


“You’re impossible.”


“Oh believe me I know that. But I’ll tell you sometime too m’dear,” Adam’s face was inches from my own. My heart started hammering in my chest at the proximity, “You’re just as hard headed and stubborn as I am.”


“I am not. I just don’t take kindly to strangers barging into my life, unwarranted and then throwing the structure out the window. You don’t have a right. I don’t want you here anyway.”


“M’dear,” he was using that annoying drawl again, “You don’t really have a choice. I’m not going anywhere.”

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

A Thought For Today...

Goodness knows I should be working on the various projects that I have in the works right now. I have so many different projects going on, pulling me in different directions that sometimes I forget which end is up! It's hard not to get discouraged and think that I haven't accomplished much, especially when my new apartment is cluttered with boxes and I've gotten maybe 10 hours of sleep in the last three days due to illness (trust me it's not pleasant). I feel crummy, and I'm sure I look worse. But...oh that glorious word! BUT, I couldn't help but think about how strange and interesting life is. I am an aspiring novelist. Yes I realize this notion maybe far more romanticised than it really is. Yes I understand that this a risky venture sure to bring me to tears due to rejection letters, and hopeless moments of writer's block and general feelings of inferiority. And yes I understand that people will look at you funny when you state that you are writing a book (because honestly, who sits down and willingly writes novels? Strange people that's who).

BUT...

despite all my fears and insecurities, I know that my writing is important (to me at least) and that each time I sit down and pour words onto an eager canvas, I'm creating an alternate reality where thoughts, emotions, and ideas are entirely controlled by the writer. I'm able to create something beautiful with the flourish of my pen and the careful construction of sentences, descriptions and imagery. I'm able to be the master of a world. I'm able to define myself in my novels, and writings. I'm able to state to the world just what I think and feel and how I view my surroundings. I'm able to show the world the truest person that I am. What a wondrous process! I can be whatever I wish to be. I can write whatever I wish to write! I can do whatever I wish to do!

Writing doesn't define me. I define me. I set he standards; I make the path and I learn and progress and move forward. My writing styles change and develop and one day they will be good enough to garner the attention of someone...maybe. or maybe not. Either way, I'll continue to write and be the best person that I can be. I'll be the writer I've always set out to be. I won't ever give up on myself. I can be what I choose.

And that's the thought for today!