Superlative

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I received advice on how to improve my writing. Apparently I have a love affair with superlatives! I'm grateful someone pointed that out to me because I want to make my writing as fluid, relatable and realistic as possible.

Why I'm a Blogger...

Today in my English 291 class we discussed informal writings, specifically journals and letters. What I posted about was how these texts really spoke to me and really struck me with their connectability. And I posted my beliefs on the website, whether or not it actually appealed to anyone.

I started thinking about why I'm a blogger...good question right? I realize that not many people may read what I write...and many who do read it may not even care about what I'm writing. But, it doesn't really matter. I'm writing because I want to be a better writer and I know that the more I write, the more experience I get. And I hope that I will make progress as a writer, becoming more understandable and enjoyable to readers.

But, that's not the only reason that I sit down to write on my  blog. The main reason I write a blog, both personal and as an aspiring novelist, is because I believe that I have a voice. I have the ability to express myself. I am capable of stating my thoughts and feelings and being heard...or at least stating how I feel in case anyone wanted to KNOW how I felt...

It may be kind of silly for me to think that I have the right to state what I want and make thoughts and ideas known to the rest of the world. But you know what? I really don't care. I believe that I'm intelligent and capable of standing on my own to feet. I believe that I have the ability to be independent and smart and to make comments without having to refer to what other's may deem as the smart and "cool" responses.

And in connecting to the 18th century journal writings, I'm not the best journal writer. In fact, I've fallen off the bandwagon completely. But, I realized that I wanted to blog more often and I've tried to do that. I've tried to make my blogs like my journal, essentially. And when I write a journal, I make it a point to express how I truly feel. It's my opinion that if someone later on in my existence will read my journals, they will know my inner most thoughts and feelings, so why should I be afraid to express how I feel now? Why should I withhold myself from stating how I truly feel?

And as a writer I think it's finding that form of expression that really appeals to people as readers. What engages someone the most, is the ability to connect to the writer and understand why they think the way they do and HOW they think. The understand the innermost workings of a person is a vital part of life as well as being a writer.

At least that's my opinion-

I will upload my little scene from the novel later tonight...I just thought you'd like to hear my little rant.

-The Novice Novelist

Living Life

Here's another little tidbit for you...it's been haunting my mind since it arrived so I had better get it out before it nags me to death eh?

Adam stiffened and before I blinked, he had whipped around and was marching back towards me, his eyes blazing with fury. Towering above my slender frame, grasped my arms and knit his brows together, his lips pursed into a tight line.

"You think it's that simple, do you? That I just traipse through any time I please without any consequences?" His grip tightened a little, "Sure I can go wherever I want, but I never truly get to live Jenna. I never get to have a normal life!"

He released my arms and backed away suddenly, running a hand through is tousled hair, "I've never had the chance to just live one life with people I care about. It's never been easy for me."

My mood suddenly darkened, "It's never been easy for me either," I muttered.

Adam let out a cynical laugh, "Yes indeed it hasn't been easy for you. You have known your share of heartache and sorrow, but you have the chance to move on from that. You have the chance to live your life."

I was infuriated, "I am living my life!" I shouted in response, "I live it each and every day! And I have to tell you, it's not really all that wonderful. You have it great. No worries. You don't know what it's like."

Adam was back by my side, "I don't know what it's like?" He questioned sardonically, "I believe you are mistaken ma'am. I know perfectly what it's like. I, above all others, know what you're going through. I watch lives pass by. I watch people die, while I remain forever here. Forever doomed to this lonely insignificant existance." He stilled suddenly, his eyes glazing over, "It's no life." His gaze returned to me, "And neither is yours. You haven't moved on. You're just stuck in the same state you were left in all those years ago. You refuse to move on! Instead, you just watch as your life passes you by, ignoring the people around you. You're hardly qualified to say what life is all about."

A Dream...

I had an interesting dream last night and I think that I could either make it into a story of its own or turn it into a piece of the novel I'm working on.

The story of the dream followed a girl (me) who was orphaned and then adopted into this ancient English castle where people seemed to be stopped in time. However, this girl breaks the rules and ends up having ot evade the guard out to get her.

It was really quite a remarkable dream and I found it to be interesting and amazing. I hope that I can get everything written out for you to enjoy. The dream was so profoundly interesting that I found myself wishing I could see the end of it!

Maybe tonight then eh?

-The Novice Novelist...

A Confession...

I'm apologizing, first and foremost, for not updating when i said I would. But can I just offer a simple explaination as to why this did not happen?

You see these last few weeks have been tiring for me, both physically andmentally. I've felt at my wits end trying to figure everything out and to get through with all the things that I've needed to do. And these last few days in particular have really taken it out of me. I've had so many different emotions running through my head that it's been hard to focus and feel determined to get anything done.

A couple days ago I was sitting in one of my classes and I just kept thinking about how frustrated I was and how I felt as though I wasn't doing anything worth while. I felt as though all my hard work was falling by the wayside and I was simply stuck in the same place and would remain there forever. This thought upset me of course and I began to become discouraged. And as the hours ticked by the feeling began to overwhelm me  until I was completely in tears. It was a terrible feeling and great moment of weakness for me.

I figured that I was just being emotional and that a good night sleep would help calm me. Unfortunately it did not. In fact, I felt even more hopeless and useless than I had the previous day. This did not bode well for me. I began to wonder why I was even trying and why I even felt that I was important in the first place...talk about a stupid thing to do right? So long story short: another crummy day.

Today didn't start much better either, but as I was sitting in an English lecture I kept thinking about why I love writing and why I love my family and why I am here. And you know what? The answers were simple and they rang true: I love writing because it frees me. It makes me happy. It allows me to create something beautiful. I love my family because they are treasures. They bring me joy and fill my life with such sweet memories...I couldn't give them up for anything on this earth. And why am I here? Well I don't really know the answer to that just yet...but I know that I'm here for a reason. I'm not useless and I'm not a mistake. I was meant to be who I am. I was meant to be here...and I was meant to do something with my life.

What a difference those thoughts have made! My spirit has been brightened considerably and I am grateful for the reprieve from sadness and despair. I don't like feeling that way, but sometiimes the pressure builds and you find yourself falling apart.

So, I apologize for not having posted sooner...life was hectic...but I will be more diligent in getting things written for you. I hope that there's someone out there who reads my blog and enjoys what they find here.

Until next time then,

-The Novice Novelist.

Day 25...a little belated...

Well I've done it again. I fell asleep last night on the couch and subsequently did not post anything for my blog...yep I'm a failure...I apologize to all you lovely readers for my stupidity and my horrible attendance at writing in my blog and in my novel...le sigh...I apologize! So here's a posting for you. Granted it is a little late but it's here for you to enjoy...and I promise to post at least one more time today...though I will try to make it two. Here's hoping!

Alright, I know I promised that I would have a posting from my novel in this post for you. However I thought I'd talk about something that I learned in my English class this week. We were talking about some 18th century writers and  one that really struck me was title, "Rambler No. 4" by Johnson. In this, he talks about the duty that writers have in the creation of their writing of the novel. And it really struck me. Yes granted he was talking about how we need to not be so fanciful with dragons and unique things of that nature, but the majority of his writing was about how we need to, as writers, be aware of the morals that we need to portray.

This made me consider my own writing and ask a few questions: what is the moral I'm trying to portray within my work? Am I trying to display an inspiring and unique story?

Anyway that's what I've thought...

Day 24: I missed a Few!

So sorry to have missed two days! I have a good excuse though trust me! For one thing, I was out of town and when I was supposed to be writing in my blog I was driving back home. When I got home I promptly fell asleep on the couch. And I would have written yesterday had I not been feeling so crummy.

So here's day 24 for you:

As I've been writing in my various classes at school, I've noticed that the times I enjoy writing the most is when creativity is involved. I'm not a big fan of the structured responsive essays where you are limited in your ability to express yourself. Instead, I've come to find that I enjoy analytical essays a little more. That isn't to say that they are my favorite thing to write, but I do enjoy them a little more than the traditional responsive essay. With an analytical essay I am able to express myself (to some degree) and display my knowledge of a text that I've been reading (that is to say, I'm able to show a deeper meaning of the text).

Now this exercise of writing, while helpful in a structured writing environment, wouldn't naturally appeal to a creative writer. But, I've come to find that after each paper that I write, the structured writing I've exposed myself to enhances my writing abilities and allows me to be more in tune with my creative process, thus givingme the ability to glean the information that I need for my novel. Pretty cool eh?

So needless to say, writing analytical essays are my new form of exercises for my creative writing.

-The Novice Novelist

P.S. and just so you know, I'll hopefully be posting another small portion of a chapter tomorrow.

Day 21: Imperfect Writing

One thing I'm sure every writer has dealt with is that insatiable desire to have a perfect piece of writing. However, every writer also recognizes that their writing is inferior in many ways...right?
Well at least that's how I feel. Very often as I sit writing, I have the urge to go back and edit and then edit again and then bang my head on the computer desk because my writing just sounds so stupid and mediocre and just annoying. The problem with this, is that not only does it discourage me and hinder finishing any project, it also isn't a fair assessment of my writing abilities. I've come to find that most authors are their harshest critics. The writings we do produce may never seem to be "perfect" and appropriate to our standards. But the problem is that we don't look at what others may think. Our opinions are the ones that cause the problems.

So my challenge to all those of you who are eager writers: don't think that you don't have the ability to write. Ask someone to read your work and don't be afraid to understand criticism from others. And make sure you never give up on writing.

-The Novice Novelist

Day 20: Is it weird?

Is it weird that I already know how my novel is supposed to end even before I have the middle sections filled out? Is it weird that I know how my entire series is supposed to end and how many books there is supposed to be?

I've often wondered how other writers go about the creation of their own works? Do they know the ending before they start the beginnings? Do they have trouble connecting the dots in the middle in order to get to the ending they've envisioned, as I do?

Perhaps that's the joy in creating something? Knowing the ending and having the ability to pull the strings of the plot to suit your purposes. Isn't that exhilerating? I think so at least.

-The Novice Novelist

Day 18: Deeper Meaning

Lately, as I've been doing research and analysis papers for my English classes, I've wondered whether or not my novel has a deeper meaning. I've been studying Milton's works, especially "Paradise Lost," and I've noticed that there are so many deeper meanings that can be gleaned from reading his works. And I think that's the mark of a truly great writer: to have meaning beyond the simple plain textual reading. I wonder if I'm achieving that with my novel. Will people read my works and try to delve deeper into the story in order to understand some hidden meanings? Will I be a good enough writer to garner that type of attention?

I've wondered that...

Slacker...

Alright, I admit it...I lied...I didn't post anything for you to read until just now even though I said that I would be posting again withing the next few days...I lied and I failed and I'm sorry! For all of you who were anticipating reading something pertaining to my novel and were disappointed I apologize. That is if there is anyone who actually reads this blog...but that's not the point! If you are someone who is reading this blog and was looking forward to reading a post from me I apologize most heartily and offer a slightly better promise...or at least a more reliable one depending on your point of view.

So here's the situation: The reason I haven't posted lately is because I've been so busy with getting back into the swing of things with school. I've been reading and taking quizzes like a mad-woman and have simply lost track of time. Very often I have wanted to write but my energy level has simply depleted.

That's the excuse for not blogging, now here is the solution: I fully intend to continue blogging, and far more often than I have been these past few months. And how I intend to go about blogging and continually doing so is by blogging more about a specific class. You see, in one of my English classes we have been asked to take a personal approach to what we are reading and do some self-directed learning. And while I've been posting about thoughts and ideas that have come into my head, the notion came to me today that I really need to take an approach to the text in a way that makes sense to me. Sure I can see ways in which a text can compare to my life and the experiences that I am going through and I can make connections like that. However, I also thought that perhaps I need to make a connection with my favorite activities. It is glaringly obvious that I need to apply my love of writing to these texts. Not merely in analysis, but in looking at a text from a different point of view. So, with our upcoming assigned texts of the Canterbury Tales I intend to essentially, re-write the tale to fit a character into the plot. I think that by doing so I will be able to connect to the writer, Chaucer, on an entirely different level. And, I intend to post what I've written on this blog as well as what I've gleaned from my experience.

This may seem overly ambitious and a little foolish, but I figure that if I attempted NaNoWriMo, I can most certainly attempt to write something about Chaucer, eh?

Now, I still intend to write about my novel as I strive to work on that, but I thought that a little variety would be enjoyable as well. So, essentially, you'll have two texts from me to read. Either way this should be interesting from now on, eh? Wish me luck!